"I don't know why people are surprised that France won't help us get Saddam out of Iraq. After all, France wouldn't help us get the Germans out of France!" …Jay Leno

"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."…..Mark Twain

"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without an accordion. You just leave a lot of useless, noisy baggage behind."……..Jed Babbin former deputy undersecretary of defense

"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me." …….. General George S. Patton

"The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."…….. David Letterman

Raise your right hand if you like the French....
Raise both hands if you are French………Unknown

"The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."…….. Regis Philbin

"A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a threat. For example, France wants more evidence. And you know I'm thinking, the last time France wanted more evidence they rolled right through Paris with the German flag." ……..David Letterman

Army personnel in Kuwait unloaded a dozen faulty tanks that only go in reverse. Tanks that only go in reverse — they've been repackaged and sold to France."……..Craig Kilborn

I would call the French scumbags, but that, of course, would be a disservice to bags filled with scum. I say we invade Iraq, then invade Chirac."…Dennis Miller

"After what they say was an exhaustive investigation, the Defense Minister of France said today that Osama bin Laden is either still in hiding in Afghanistan, he may have escaped to Pakistan, or he may be dead. Hey, France, thanks a lot. We'll take it from here. Hard to believe they were invaded twice."……..Jay Leno

French troops arrived in Afghanistan last week, and not a minute too soon. The French are acting as advisers to the Taliban, to teach them how to surrender properly." ……..Jay Leno

Q. Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?
A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

Q: How many Frenchmen does it take to defend Paris?
A: Nobody knows, it's never been tried.

Q. Why don't they have fireworks at Euro Disney?
A. Because every time they shoot them off, the French try to surrender.

Q. Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A. So the Germans could march in the shade.

Q: How can you identify a French Infantryman?
A: Sunburned armpits.

Anyone see the French Military Rifle on eBay? It's never been shot and only dropped once!